Here's to all those girls who used to be his number one. The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check the caller ID the next morning and be disappointed. The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, and moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened. Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because u knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him say, I only want to be your friend, one day, and the next, listened to him say how much he loves you and misses you. We deserve something, and this is our tribute.
Here's to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, caught crap from our parents, and even snuck around to see him for a while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking it would be just friends, and ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us. Here's to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. Here's for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted to desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn't possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us. We learned to SETTLE for someone who didn't treat us the way we should be treated. Here's for the ones who did thair hair and make up and put on their prettiest earings, only to hear him say he couldn't see us today. The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn't believe that he could do this to us again. This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn't bear to look back on their lives and wonder "what if". Here's to the girls who couldn't cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt. The ones who held it in when things came crumbling to pieces again. This is for the ones who couldn't bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an "I told you so." The ones that could just TELL that they had made a mistake ever allowing him into their hearts, their beds, and their dreams again. WE knew that we deserved better the entire time, that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us whenever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that. Here's for the ones that FINALLY realized that he never gave a crap about them. Here's for the time that he broke your heart again. This is for those days spend trying to hold back the tears, and the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment. Here's for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better. This is for those confusing days, when you miss him, and want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist. Stay strong, and remember that relationships are like broken glass, sometimes it's better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together and get hurt. Remember the times you cried and how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that. So when "your song" comes on the radio, turn the station. When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made and tries calling, turn your phone off. When he tries coming to your house, don't answer the door. Think of the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation and the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the crap he was. Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night, and how it fell it your stomach when you saw it wasn't him, and realized that once again, he hadn't called when he said he was going to/ One day, you'll find a guy who's worth all the tears, but he won't make you cry. You may think you'll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will. It's gonna hurt like crap, and it's going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal. This is for those girls, who fell back in love with their ex, only to get hurt all over again. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm writing this blog today because i feel like the past three years i have kept a lot inside & i'm tired of breaking down & i do'nt know who i can talk to so i feel like if i write on here it'll help get some closure. The past three years i have had strong feelings for a boy in Brazil, will call him De, and i have dated other guys trying to relieve myself of those feelings but i couldn't. So i fought my way through relationship after relationship but always found myself going back to that one boy from Brazil, and nothing ever seemed to work out with anyone else. But i always felt as if i was standing still when i was with De like we weren't going anywhere so i always found myself walking away from him even thought it hurt. And then this February a miracle happened, i met another boy from Brazil and i fell for him, we'll call him C. It was an amazing feeling because i hadn't felt so happy in so long, he was the boy that could piss me off beyond reasoning and then turn around and have me smiling from ear to ear, it was like i was living in a dream i couldn't believe that happiness i felt with him. He made me feel beautiful, interesting, smart, fun, funny..the works and then something changed. Over spring break in April we started fighting we had been dating for about two months and everything was perfect and for the first time since De i was happy and i smiled all the time so as u can imagine i was devasted when that lifestyle was suddenly flipped upside down. C stopped calling reguraly and didn't answer when i phoned him, he started lying and hiding things from me such as where he was and who he was with and what they were doing. He started becoming distant and never wanted to hang out because he always had "something going on". I felt like i had NO ONE , like i had lost my best friend because in those two months i seperated myself from my family & my friends and i spent all my time either with him, thinking about him, talking about him, or talking to him. He WAS my best friend, no..he was my LIFE. I trusted him with everything i had, and i believed every word he said. I gave him everything i had, i put my heart and soul into our relationship because i just KNEW that this was goin to be the relationship that lasted and i knew i wanted to spend all of my time with him. But over spring break that all changed, he started hanging out with other girls & telling me he didn't want a serious relationship and he put me on the back burner. Soon after that the calls went from every other day to once a week, then to none. And me and C when a month without talking, it was the worst month of my life & once again i ran and what i foudn when i ran was Will and i jumped right into a relationship with him where i thought i was happy but when that relationship ended 6 days later i realized just how unhappy i really was i needed C back. Then one night a few days after my relationship with Will ended C called me, and we talked about things and decided that we'd start talking to each other once again. And so for 3 weeks we called each other nightly & i was umbearabley happy yet again. Until C developed his old ways agian and went out on a date with another girl from Clay City and the phone calls that came every night suddenly stopped. Once again i was devastate and i cried every single night for 2 weeks. And then De came back into my life & i thought i was happy again because after all i gave up three years of my life to De how could i not be happy with him? And for the past couple weeks i've been fighting my way through tears & anger & disappointment over C & i've been fighting to hide my feelings for him because i'm determined to make things with De work. But then 2 nights ago i saw C for the first time in a long time, and all those feelings rushed back and i found myself back to square one, and i'm scared and i feel lost and i am afraid to tell people because NO ONE wants me with C becasue of the way we used to fight. I know that De is the right choice for me & he's the right guy for me and he's ultimately the one that's goin to make it easier on my heart, but yet i want C. But i just want you to know that i've been fighting to let him go, some days i make it through & then there's nights that never end. I wish that i could believe that there's a day that he'llcome back to me. But i'd still have to say i'd do it all again. I just want him to know, that since i last him i've lost myself. And i don't know how much longer i can fake it, there's no one else, so i just want him to know, I miss him so much... | 
